Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Divulging what I'm most afraid of...

It's one of those things...
If you talk about it, will it come true?
I'm just going to put it out there...
I'm afraid that I will always be the size that I am.
My mind is plagued with stupid questions that I have no answer for.
Am I destined to always be the fat chick?
Is this who I'm meant to be?
Is my fat, my "comfort" zone...my defence mechanism?
Is it holding me back from enjoying a full life?
Does it enable me to hide because no one wants to look at me?
What's the worst thing that can happen by losing weight?
What will happen if I don't?
So many "what if's", my head is spinning.
Clearly, the pros outweigh the cons (no pun intended).
Why do I sabotage myself?
Why am I so afraid?
I am trying to push myself.
To better myself.
To not give up.
It's so hard.
So very hard.
I pray that the fear will not win.

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of

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